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This site is designed principally for the benefit and use of the local platform tennis community, and to introduce the
uninitiated to the sport of platform (in other words, designed solely for the amusement of the author and the occasional warped
individual who strays onto the same astral plane).
The SPTA is a hodge-podge of local platform enthusiasts who were first introduced to the game when they were assigned
to clean-up detail around the courts by prison officials. After securing their early releases due to prison
overcrowding,
the group drove away respectable citizens using intimidation and sarcasm and have since ruled the local courts with a gang-like
oligarchy.
Chief architect of the take-over, and original commissioner, was Jeff "Baby Face" Wilday, who along with
Johnny "The Enforcer" Lorenzini ruled autocratically for approximately 12 years, in part due to the charter's grant of "arbitrary
and capricious" powers to the commissioner.
Wilday's hold over the leadership of the association weakened in the late
1990's due to age-related infirmities. Finally, after Wilday underwent a sport-change operation in Sweden in 1999, he was
deposed in a bloodless coup. Led by David "The Brain" Welch, coup leaders promised to rule as an "enlightened totalitarianism."
Welch's chief henchman, Danny "Red Shoes" Kepner, has continued the tradition of belittlement that so typified the tactics
of his predecessor, Lorenzini. With the addition of Donald "Honest Don" Tracy, former counsel to the WWF, who is defending
the association in the plethora of libel and slander suits filed against it, the SPTA is positioned to survive well into 2001.
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